am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
