STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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