i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
