i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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