the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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