I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
