i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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