Acid is not a monday night drug
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
