it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
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My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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