I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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