Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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