doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
