this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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