He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
