you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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