ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
