If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
