She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
