I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
