I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
