i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Of course I have a pirate flag
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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