i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
