i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
