we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
