i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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