my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
