It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
