did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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