I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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