On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
