you would pick up someone in the library
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
a search helicopter?!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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