i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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