man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
