The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
