are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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