If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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