I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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