Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
