I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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