break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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