Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
