the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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