sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize