I think I am morally bankrupt
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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