i just google imaged poop.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
