Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
