Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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