I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So vagazzling was a success
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
