just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize