was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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