Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
