His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
