Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
