I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
