I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
