They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
